Monday, March 22, 2010

Out of the Mouth of Babes

My daughter Ragan is such a crack up sometimes.




Saturday, she was singing at the top of her lungs. She changes her voice into several different styles.....the opera voice, the tinny, nasally voice, the sheep vibrato.....you get the picture. And, seriously, she knows the words to every.single.song in the world. She sings everywhere and anywhere. The only thing she won’t do is sing when asked.

Well, sometimes it's so funny that she even laughs at herself. This makes it a lot easier to laugh at her, too.



I told her that one of these days I was going to secretly video tape her singing and put it on You.Tube. She just laughed at me and said, "Ya, and you'll probably blog about it, too, huh?!?"



So that got me to thinking.

I have blogged about her before and it's freaking hilarious! So, exerting my right as her parent to exploit her (and any of my other children if I so choose) for the sake of a blog post, I am going to share a funny story about her.

( Don't judge me. They all have to pay me back somehow for the stretch marks.)



Recently, Ragan was watching "A Baby Story" on the TLC channel.

I was in the kitchen. I can see the family room from the kitchen and I hear this couple on the TV talking about their infertility issues and how this baby was conceived through invetro fertilization.



Ragan says, "Mom?????"



"Uh-huh", I answered.



"When a baby is conceived through invetro, how do they get the sperm?"



Before I go on, let me just say that Craig and I have always made ourselves available for question asking and have always tried to answer them honestly and completely. But this time, I was completely taken aback. Don't ask me why.



I was amazed at the possible answers that ran through my head in that nano-second before she expected a response from me.

Here are a few of them.....

* I thought I was done answering these kinds of questions.”

* I thought, call Craig. After all, HE is the sperm expert, not me.

* I thought of asking her, “Wasn’t this covered in the maturation assembly that we went to?”

* I thought of the old stand-by, "Heavenly Father takes care of things like this." (Okay, so I never REALLY used this one, but I thought of pulling it out the play book.)

* I thought of the consequences of me telling her she could Google the subject.





"Welllllll.....", I began.

*ahem*

“The dad goes to the doctor.......and (insert awkward silence), he....uh.... gives the doctor the sperm."



I look at Ragan, bracing myself for her to ask me to go into further detail.



I see the wheels in her head turning.

I wait.....I’m waiting.....



And then it happens.



The light bulb goes on.



"EWWWWWW! EW. EW. EW!! ARE you SERIOUS??? That's DISGUSTING!"



I slap my hand over my mouth so I don't laugh out loud.



But, I'll tell you one thing. The next time she asks a question like this, we are soooo Googling it.

8 comments:

Felicia said...

Oh, how I needed this laugh today. Thanks for sharing.

I remember Ragan when she was four. Where has the time gone?

The Wolfes said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....................HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love Ragan!

Linda ★ Parker's Paradise said...

No way! You did perfect and she knew more than she thought. Now if you were as lucky as we are, you would have dog breeding to fall back on. We had one of our females inseminated by the vet and in that case, the vet actually had to procure the sperm in the old-fashioned way. Now that was EEEEWWWWWW!!!!! but we ended up with 5 beautiful puppies and a female that didn't have to be violated by a strange dog. We were not laughing but the grandkids all know how dogs 'do it'--get puppies so they were surprised when Cami had puppies without that step.
=+} you did very well. ★Linda

Gettysburg Homestead said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!! Oh I can't wait.

Mary

TrishAnderson said...

I am dying right now. I can just totally picture that entire scene playing out in your house and because I know you both - oh, it makes it that much more funny!!! I love Ragan! Too funny. Thanks for making me laugh so hard today.

Angie Berry said...

Lol! Too funny! I'm so glad we aren't to that age yet, but so not looking forward to it either.

Andrea said...

Ba ha ha!!!!! That was such a great story. If I get that questioned asked, I'll just direct Maddison to this post. Thanks for taking the hit for me! Still laughing!!

Nicole said...

I am really nervous for these type of questions, and I'm sure they are coming really soon, my daughter is 8. Too funny though, I hope I'm good at being open and pretending I'm comfortable with the conversation. So glad you go your fabric ok. Hope you guys have a great Easter.