Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Rantings of a Mad Chubby Woman

Craig and I are back at the gym. Have I mentioned that I hate going to the gym??? Well, I do. The fact remains that I hate being fat even worse. I have such an internal struggle with my weight and all that is involved with it. I have the voices in my head to thank for that. I would like to think that I am a relatively intelligent person, yet I let these voices control my every emotion concerning weight loss. The Queen Bee of them all is Negative Nelly, who in no uncertain terms, tells me my efforts are in vain. She's the one who urges me to sleep a little longer and coaxes me to eat ice cream. She tells me that no amount of crunches will ever shrink the chub left over from the pregnancy years. She informs me that cellulite will be a constant in my future and a bathing suit is completely out of the question. She is the one who puts thoughts of food in my head constantly. She is the one who points out all the skinny girls at the gym who can seemingly go for hours on the stair stepper. Then, there is Positive Patty. She happily reminds me that I don't really even enjoy ice cream that much. She is my cheerleader, if you will. She reminds me that thinking positive will produce positive results. She helps remember my skinny days and lets me have hope that that is a viable result of my hard work. She tells me that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Let's not forget Justifying Judy, who tells me that elastic waist pants CAN be fashionable. She is SUCH a follower of Nelly. She tells me Moo Moo's are purely for comfort and I should want to be because, after all, I deserve to be comfortable. She says that putting out half the effort at the gym will still net the same results and that someone who is forty shouldn't expect so much. After all of my internal conversations I have decided that this time I begin my exercise regime, it will be a life change. I will not deprive myself of a healthy lifestyle because THAT is what I deserve. I will say goodbye to my "muffin top" and my elastic waist pants. I will not purchase a Moo Moo. Not now, not EVER! I will exercise because I want to be healthy and strong. I will dig out the cookbooks and prepare healthy meals. I will chuck the take out menus and banish the idea of a drive through window dinner. This is a gift to myself. 30 lbs. by July 15Th 2008. Thanks Patty! :)

3 comments:

Gail said...

You go girl. I like Patty and wish you was stillin my neighborhood. I think I will do the same. So I say 15 pounds by July 10th. 2008

Erin said...

Justifying Judy is holding me down while Negative Nelly slaps me silly! HELP! HELP! Where is Positive Patty - She'll help me!! Alas, JJ and NN are stuffing my face with a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup and laughing meniacally!



HELP!!

familywithfivekids said...

You go friend! I need to join this quest! I woke up so sore just from my couple days of walking that I had to take today off, but will do it again tomorrow! I'm trying...