Eternal Truths

Okay.

 SOOooo I took a little blog break.

(Again.)

And, just like the last one, it was completely unintentional.

Sometimes, life sorta picks you up and takes you on a path that you weren't expecting.

(Happens to me more than I want to admit.)

This time, that path didn't include blog time.

(I really missed all my blog friends!)

However, I did think about blogging.

(A lot, actually.)

I thought about when I first started blogging.

 I loved the "big reveal".

The picture taking, the showing of things that I had finished or made or found....

(Go ahead, get all reminiscent.)

Then I thought of all the "other stuff" I do and figured it wasn't really all that "Blog-worthy".

(reality check)

Since I don't have any finished projects to reveal,

I thought I would impart some of my very limited profound wisdom with you.

Here goes....*ahem*.

1. There is nothing meaner or more cruel than a teenage girl.

2. Mean teenage girls have mean moms.

3. This is where the saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." comes from.

4. There comes a time in a woman's life where a tummy tuck seems more practical than doing crunches.

5. Sweating profusely for months on end does not make a person lose weight.

6. One CAN actually live vicariously through their children.

7. Karma is real.

8. Sometimes, it's pretty cool to see Karma in action.

9. In most cases, your own children/grandchildren REALLY ARE cuter than everyone elses.

10. You choose your attitude.

So there you have it, my fine blog friends.

Use this information as you see fit.

 You can even say you "thunk" it all up yourself.

I don't even care....

Seeing as how I am a giver and all.

(wink face!)

Not so happy.

It is a beautiful day today in Tucson....it's about 75* at the moment. A welcomed change to the 100* temps that we had over the weekend. This is usually the kind of day that would make me giddy with happiness.

However,  I am still pretty grumpy.

I am about to tell you why......

It appears that the eyes in the back of my head are no longer working.

 I should have known this was coming as the eyes in the front of my head have been on the blink as well. (pardon the pun)

Do you want to know how I know they're not working????

It's because I didn't see the no-good, son of a gun, that came up behind me and slapped some back fat right underneath my shoulder blades.

Oh. I am so peeved.

Mostly about the back fat.....
..... but also because you just scrolled down to see if a picture was accompanying this post.

You know you did.
Sorry to disappoint, but there will be no pictures.

Trust me. It's for your own good.

OHHHHHH.... if I EVER find out who it was who did this dastardly thing to me, I will certainly be giving them a piece of my mind.  (insert attitudinal head bobs and side ways finger snap)

That was just a rotten thing to do.

And if the back fat wasn't enough.....ALL of my shirts shrunk.

True story.

But no happy ending here folks.

Will somebody please call the Wambulance for me???

It's a fact, that here at the Carter household, I spend a lot of time by myself. Ten years ago, I could have never imagined having so much alone time. But, with  the exception of (the very sweet and adorable) preschool children, the occasional evening when the girls and Craig are here, my only companions are my faithful doggies.
It's a situation that I have become accustomed to, but sometimes, I notice that I have some very interesting converstions with myself.
Yesterday was no different.

Craig is preparing to leave for yet another track meet. This time, he's off to Spokane, Washington. It's my job to get him to the airport by 7AM.

I wake to find Johnny Raincloud hanging over my not so rested head.
And so begins my internal dialog.....
"Crap."
"I don't want him to go."
"I know. It's only for a few days."
"It still sucks."
"Double crap."

I shower and get dressed while Craig is loading his luggage.

Drive to the airport.
UGH. The dreaded good-by.
(**this is a real conversation)

"Okay....see you soon."
"Okay. Love you."
*kiss kiss* lingering hug.
"Love you, too."
"I'll call you when I get there."

I watch him in my rear view mirror while KC and the Sunshine band sings, "Please Don't Go" in my head.

At home, it's more of the same

"hurry, hurry...the preschool kids will be here soon."
"Your shirt sure is wrinkled."
"Do you think anyone will notice?"
"Probably"
"Crap."
"You had better put a bra on."
"I hate wearing a bra."
"Do you think anyone will notice?"
Look in mirror.....
"Yep. They will notice."
Dig out sports bra.....
"good bye nips, hello uni-boob."
Put wrinkled shirt back on and grab a jacket, even though it will be 70* today.

The little ones arrive and thus concludes the voices.
That is until they leave.....

"What time is it?"
" You need to go get Ragan at volleyball practice."
"Son of a ----." (Don't worry, I NEVER swear in my head.)
Grab my purse, sunglasses and cell phone.......
Say good-bye to the furry girls and remind them to behave themselves while I am gone.
Drive to the school.

Wait.
Wait some more.
"Holy crap. I hate waiting."
Text Ragan......'Where in the FLIP are you?? I've been waiting.'
"Seriously. I don't know why you rush here thinking Ragan will be the one waiting. You know she is ALWAYS the last one out of the building."
"Haha. True story. There is always some boy to look at or hug.....someone she needs to talk to.....volleyballs to count..."
"No kidding. I wish she wasn't so boy crazy."
"Ya. She is probably gonna kill you off by the time she graduates."
"Oh, good! here she comes."
"FIN.A.LLY!"

Ragan asks if she can drive home.
I reluctantly give my permission.

"I am going to regret this."
"You always do."
"I just can't say no to anybody."
"You should learn."

Ragan immediatly morphs into an Indy 500 race car driver. She is merging onto the free way at warp speed all the while a van in the right lane doesn't get over.

"Dear Heavenly Father....please keep us safe."

As I am silently praying I hear Ragan yell at said van....
"Aren'tcha gonna get over you stupid van??!!!"

"I am never letting Ragan drive again."
"Right. not until the next time she asks."
"No. seriously. Craig can drive with her."
"I think you peed in your pants a little."
"Yep. I did."


Upon arriving at home, I am informed of Ragans afternoon plans. I ask the required parental questions.....Who will you be with?, Who will be driving?, Do they text while they drive?, Where will you be?, Will there be parents present?,  Do you need money, etc. etc.

"Look her in the eye when she answers."
"That little turd better be telling the truth."
"She is.....she's a good girl."
"I know, but if I find out she isn't.....Ooooo. I will totally knock her into next week."
"You're all talk and you know it."
"But she doesn't know it."
"Who are you kidding?"
"No one. Dangittoheck." (Still no swearing in my head.) ;)

"What should I make for dinner?"
"Who will be here?"
"Probably just you."
"Cereal sounds good."
"Cereal it is."

"What should I do with myself tonight?"
"I dunno...you have walked by your book about eleventy billion times today....how 'bout reading?"
"Maybe...let's check what's on TV."
"Nothing. As usual."
"You should really cancel cable. It's a joke."
"DVD?"

Phone rings in the background.
Ragan needs a ride home.
"Ugh. Hells Bells." (Still no swearing.)
"Well, that answers my question."
"Another night in the car."
"yep."
"I'm not suprised."
"Well, Ragan will certainly NOT be driving home."


Home again.

"I'm so bored."
"Find something to do."
"I know. I have plenty to do but I just don't feel like doing it."
Johnny Raincloud is back.

"How about jogging a few miles on the treadmill?"
"No way. That would require some effort on my part, and I just used the last bit I had picking up Ragan."
"This is precisely why your behind is the size of Texas."
"Whoa, now. That's a little harsh."
"Well, do you think you are going to lose weight just sitting there?"
"Noooooo. But right now I don't want to lose weight. I mean, I do, but I don't want to work on that right now."
"Oh, right. Procratination. Your best friend."
"Procrastination is NOT my best friend. Denial is."
"Whatever, Fatty, fatty two by four"

Go to the pantry to see what kind of comfort food you can find, grab book, start reading to quiet the voices.

"What time is it?"
"Yeeeessss. it's bedtime."
Text Craig.....'good night loverboy.'
Say goodnight to Ragan.
Say good night to Cameron, Mark and Makenzie even though they can't hear me.

"G'night."
"G'night yourself."
"Just so you know, there really isn't a very good chance that I will feel like getting on the treadmill tomorrow, either."
"Pffft. Like I didn't already know that."
"G'night Procastination and Denial.... I'll talk to you again in the morning."

Just another day in Utopia....

Okay---if I am being totally honest, I have to tell you that the title of this post is completely sarcastic. I am having a hard time of it lately. I am exhausted being the mother of teenagers. Now, only one is still a teenager, but, seriously, it's quite possible that she is going to be the end of me. Not just her specifically, she will just be the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back. But let me back up a little..... Makenzie is in Utah. She went to Utah to have a little break from her life here in AZ and sort a few things out. Well, I think she is just more confused than ever. And I worry. She doesn't want to come back to Tucson, and I don't blame her. But then, the next thing I know, she says she's coming back. Well, now I am worried and confused. I want to help, but my help seems to only hurt....her feelings AND the situation. I have now committed to staying out of it, and anyone who knows me will know how hard that will be for me. {{sigh}} I didn't get an email from Mark yesterday....so I worry. Craig got one, so that helps, but dang it!...I wanted one, too. There is a very real possibility that he TRIED to send me one and it didn't go through. That has happened before. However, he was his happy positive self in the email he sent to Craig, so I will try to let go of this particular worry... And then there's Ragan. Will someone just pleeeeease tell me it's okay that I am completely thrilled about the fact that she is my last child??? Most days I love being her mother. She is funny, smart, happy and an absolute joy. But then, there are days that if I see one more eye roll from her or have to listen to the noise she calls music for one more second, I think I might have a complete and utter "come apart". I find myself longing for a private room in the "happy house on the hill". I believe I will be working off my worry and frustrations this afternoon on the treadmill. I have been neglecting my fitness for awhile now, which could very well be my biggest problem. But who can run when there are so many Cadbury mini eggs to eat????? **(on a positive note--I have not worried about Cameron lately. After being out of work, he was able to get a good paying job. YAY!)

So, I am cheating on my treadmill. It's with a box of tissues and some cold medicine. Don't judge me.... it started off innocent enough. I thought it was just a simple allergy but before I realized what was happening, it had developed into a full fledged cold. I know what you're thinking about me, but come on, everyone does this at least once in their life and besides, my treadmill is a torturous and wretched contraption anyway. I see how it looks at me though.....all plugged in and waiting for some attention. But, I need more from my treadmill. Three pounds down in one month is pathetic. As always, I will go back. Back to our love/hate relationship. After all, we need each other. **disclaimer: This post is meant to be in jest. It is a result of recent illness and a small pity party I have been having with myself. This pity party has evoked melancholy, sentimental moods that have resulted in some recent previous posts. I was not fishing for compliments but very much appreciate all your kind comments. :)

The Rantings of a Mad Chubby Woman

Craig and I are back at the gym. Have I mentioned that I hate going to the gym??? Well, I do. The fact remains that I hate being fat even worse. I have such an internal struggle with my weight and all that is involved with it. I have the voices in my head to thank for that. I would like to think that I am a relatively intelligent person, yet I let these voices control my every emotion concerning weight loss. The Queen Bee of them all is Negative Nelly, who in no uncertain terms, tells me my efforts are in vain. She's the one who urges me to sleep a little longer and coaxes me to eat ice cream. She tells me that no amount of crunches will ever shrink the chub left over from the pregnancy years. She informs me that cellulite will be a constant in my future and a bathing suit is completely out of the question. She is the one who puts thoughts of food in my head constantly. She is the one who points out all the skinny girls at the gym who can seemingly go for hours on the stair stepper. Then, there is Positive Patty. She happily reminds me that I don't really even enjoy ice cream that much. She is my cheerleader, if you will. She reminds me that thinking positive will produce positive results. She helps remember my skinny days and lets me have hope that that is a viable result of my hard work. She tells me that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Let's not forget Justifying Judy, who tells me that elastic waist pants CAN be fashionable. She is SUCH a follower of Nelly. She tells me Moo Moo's are purely for comfort and I should want to be because, after all, I deserve to be comfortable. She says that putting out half the effort at the gym will still net the same results and that someone who is forty shouldn't expect so much. After all of my internal conversations I have decided that this time I begin my exercise regime, it will be a life change. I will not deprive myself of a healthy lifestyle because THAT is what I deserve. I will say goodbye to my "muffin top" and my elastic waist pants. I will not purchase a Moo Moo. Not now, not EVER! I will exercise because I want to be healthy and strong. I will dig out the cookbooks and prepare healthy meals. I will chuck the take out menus and banish the idea of a drive through window dinner. This is a gift to myself. 30 lbs. by July 15Th 2008. Thanks Patty! :)